I drifted for a long time, feeling myself barely hanging on to a sense of self. I think I benefited from internalizing the idea that we are who we are, that there is no true self. I'm not nihilistic about it though. Like anyone I went looking for myself in art. Looking for something to speak to me and tell me who I am, and by recognizing myself in something know who I am. What did that amount to? Glimmers, passing lights reflecting the glow of warmth. Why do I resonate as a Priestess? Momodora in particular influenced that, but Inuyasha echos it as well. Whereas in Inuyasha Kagome is like a jr Kikyo, where Kikyo can operate, fight and move thru the world conceivably on her own, Kagome by contrast is on a team and is supported by her friends, and I used to think because of this Kagome was less independent, less capable of change on her own and ultimately a lesser Kikyo, a lesser priestess. Kagome’s name isnt in the title but with her as the point of view and audience surrogate its hard for me not to think of her as the protag as opposed to the deuteragonist she actually is.

Up until the day I’m writing this I hadn't realized the truth,but Momodora was the bridge. Its a metroidvania where you play a Priestess trying to combat a magical plague that infesting her kingdom. Monsters and undead plague the land. Kaho a Priestess from a rural village, goes to the capital city to fight the curse at the source. The games in the series before take a lot of inspiration from cave story but this entry the game makes a stronger step in its own stylistic direction. As an action plat former It begs comparisons to Castlevania and megaman, and as a horror setting, even in its 16 bit look, holds a lot of atmosphere,scratching our Bloodborne itch too. Playing it for the first time we never finished it. It was pretty hard. But its style and presence stuck with us. And the girl protag on a journey filled with untold horrors struck me. Thinking, what if a girl like Kagome had to brave this journey alone? So when we eventually became a streamer I played thru it and finally finished it.

For a while Kaho endeared as a girl badass who was still feminine. Her white hood and shroud, simple black dress and sparkly red socks are endearingly enigmatic and cute. She’s a Priestess hero, basically a full time magical girl on her own. She uses arrows like Kagome and Kikyo and even uses charged shots. But she has melee covered too with a slash attack that screams Zero from megaman X. but as Momodora’s setting is dark fantasy the source of the energy sword is holy magic? A holy leaf that turns into a demonbane sword when you swipe it. It was an stunning detail throughout the game. A weapon that is strong yet fragile. It cannot break in the game and yet the attack coming from a leaf was a powerful image I couldn't forget accompanied with the implication of the dexterity needed to use such a graceful weapon even with one’s back against the wall..I thought to myself how much I might struggle to wield such a weapon. One you can’t hold too tight. Demands of balance, dexterity and a calm under pressure like no other made me adore Kaho. Kaho is a girl of intense determination. I thought to myself:now that's a Priestess!

In retrospect I now realize that Kagome’s strength comes from being interdependent on her friends and that she acts as a foil to Kikyo who’s been hurt and can no longer bring herself to rely on anyone. Not to mention Kikyo being a villain who preys on other women, taking their souls and feeding on them to sustain herself. Not only is Kikyo not independent, but for 99 percent of the series she exists in a way that can only continue by doing harm to others; preying on them. Kikyo has power, but it isn’t the kind of relationship to power I want. I think I’d much rather be more like Kagome now, but that doesn't disqualify me from being like Kaho too. Although Kaho is the playable character for Under the Reverie of Moonlight, there is a supporting cast that helps, and points her in the right direction, or help in one way or another. Not to mention, someone probably trained Kaho to be a priestess. No one exists in a vacuum. We all exist in context. Reverie is prequel so Kaho’s journey actually becomes a legend that inspires folks in the present day of most of the series. She lays the ground work for other priestess in the series like other artists have laid the groundwork for us. We played Reverie first so it feels like the reverse, not knowing Kaho was a legend until later, makes her struggle larger than life.

Being a Priestess as a Healer is awesome, but also finding a framework a priestess that's also a warrior who can defend others, while still having a proximity to an aesthetic of femininity is something that speaks to me. But I don’t think I could fight with a leaf sword indefinably. Maybe on weekends. I prefer an Oni Club with a critter inside it. My style is not very Traditional. I lean toward a ravecore,streetcore, and cyberpunkish aesthetic (which includes the cringy affinity for medieval Japanese clothing, note: Inuyasha fan) . I think in the age of dandadan, having a modern or future vibe coupled with spiritual powers don’t have to be opposing forces. Technology can integrate nature! I’m a Luddite but I’m all for body modification and transhuman (or rather trans-therianisim). Some of my favorite things to do on a stream are Tarot Readings, which I felt a need to create a framework for them that acknowledged whats lost when doing a reading online. We developed a way to do them that feels spiritual to me but also takes into account the context of doing it online. so I’m A cyberpunk Priestess? Yeah!

I like music and concerts and jamming to post hardcore punk and math rock and jrock and jpop. Music that intersects with other art is so cool to me. Which is why Keylocker has stayed stuck in my metaphorical teeth. Its style and color palette choices have very much influenced me and my current version of my sona. Got a soft spot for horror and monsters and loving monsters. Look Outside was my top game...top story of 2025. Love the misunderstood. Be okay with being misunderstood. Sometimes we are a ghost of ourselves in the eyes of others.

The ending to momodora made me cry, I wont spoil it but yeah, much Determination

What did I consume while decaying?

  1. Momodora:Under the Revere of Moonlight
  2. Look Outside
  3. Forgive Durden
  4. Keylocker
  5. Silent Hill 2
  6. Vindictive Drive
  7. Secret Little Haven
  8. Inuyasha
  9. Death end re;Quest
  10. Bombrush Cyberfunk