salutations friends and enemies, its Mocabyte on today friday the 13th 2026. We like friday 13th, its like a secret extra halloween you get some years.
we reguard it as spooky as opposed to a day to be extra vigilent about misfortune. we generally consider ourselves more lucky than unlucky, not to say we don't suffer under the boot of of this fascist soceity, but relative to random good shit happing, or even close calls yeah we think we are generally lucky. Our occasional ventures in the occult activities like tarot and a general love of weird and eerie things like unfiction args,urban legands, and the like make days like today. uneasy liminal vibes feel like we're in on some silly game.
a friend gifted us slient hill f recently and on our hiatus we've been playing it for ourselves, not really doing it for content. playing it at our own pace and really letting it wash over us .and its been really effecting. I mention scary and spooky vibes feeling like a game as i'm reminded in silent hill f two of the teenage characters doubting the reality they find themselves in, their town warped into a nightmare. one asks the main character Hinako if she thinks what their experiencing is a dream or even thing happening in their minds,imagining the town in danger, like they did when they were younger, playing a game about saving it. As steeped in tense horror as it is, it also feels like a young adult coming of age story. Even though Hinako doesn't come to a conclusion about that suggestion as far as we are in the game, it hangs in the air, even as the characters continue to treat the situation as life or death. It resonated with us.Its a perspective that you don't see in the series a lot and it seems just the sort of thing a kid would suggest.
the liminal space that is childhood and adolecence is filled with monsters. both seen and unseen. some get explainations, while others do not. It feels like when you're young you live in a different world, and that you have to wait to have a voice, be a person and for some people you grow up, but you're still a kid,you feel powerless despite your physical age, the world still feels big and wonderful and terrible. And maybe thats why its easy for me to still belive in monsters, knowing the only real monsters are the cruel people that are more akin to characters out of captain planet than slient hill. but still we sit in the liminal space that is life and wonder if the dark holds more than is yet explained. somehow it feels less cruel than the known atorcities. the ones we know all too well. the ones all over our feeds. the ones we're abating when we dive into our hobbiees or stories or in bed with a loved one. i say ebated, not escaped because like a kid i and maybe you too hold a silly hope that a blanket, a warm bed and our favorite passtime will keep the monsters out; while sensing the growl of the beast, knowing its there all the same.
im rambling. sorry. we relish spokkyn little moments like today, because every day feels unlucky anyway ya know? we live in strange and stranger times. Everything feels wrong ya know? every time someone envokes being on the wrong timeline or something it feels more and more right. The neoliberal lie shattered for us a long time ago but we've drifted into this weird, fucked up monkey paw ass reality, and the void feels like its reaching out. Like how we never thought a good new silent hill game would ever release again, let alone one that we would feel extreemly seen by. But we're playing it literally when the real world is a nightmare world of the highest order. In the same way that satire is low key ruined now, horror doesnt sting like it used to before we knew as much about the world, and before the world seemed so bleak.
but what does it mean to have an unlucky day. to me its when your life is bent out of shape well beyond the normal expectation of misery, even if its in part of ones own making. We have had many unlucky days and when we've been in the middle of them we always had this hopless feeling like it would never end. just like that day we almost drowned that we're obsessed about. but an unlucky day can not have much to do with luck. it can happen on a whim.sometimes its a jenga tower of consequences all triggering at once, or a chain reaction that spirals out of control and gets worse, but above all i'd say its a escalation of woe. But often the way we weather such unfortune times in our life when lifes been kicking us in the ribs has been to diassociate OR laugh at the absurity even from within in its cruel throes. We've survived the jaws of the world up until now and with any luck we will contuine, and hopfully you will too. I both believe luckyness is just a justification for pattern recognition and that there is something weird and uncanny about the world and our experience of it that defires certainty.
the adult notion, of knowing theres a reasonable explination for something brings us no confort, because terrible things happen for no reason sometimes. oftentimes really.
and we huddle in the dark telling stories to eachother to dull the cold bite of time and the hot bite of a hostile world.
this was sort of a stream of consciousness so i wont hold myself to a tidy conclusion, but i also dont wanna leave one in a state of doom either. The boggeymen we used to fear are oddly a comfort now in the certainy that the real world is actually more cruel then their fiction but not nearly as personal. so one days like today where that had an odd feeling we used to dread, we kinda soak it in instead.
what did we consume while decaying? unluck but fun somehow.