A Thornbyte Entry

Today really sucked. We cried, we seethed, we even balled up in pain, and we got a lot of shitty news; which weirdly is not abnormal for the news cycle, but one thing we will focus on for this post is our reaction to Subscribe Star's new policies. Although really it's a reaction to the bullshit that is our reality, or maybe this post is really about the macro scale of being human trash on the fringes of society, or maybe about how we feel about not being welcome anywhere and staring in the face the reality that unbanking is a huge part of the disenfranchisment of us and our peers. Vtubers, nsfw artists of all stripes, and many many more folks are being continuously backed into corners as the internet is censored and enshittified.

Early today we found out that Subscribe Star is following in Patreon's footsteps, cracking down on a whole slew of different kinds of NSFW art. Cub and ABDL of course, but furry stuff, noncon, and more are all on the chopping block as well. This post we're writing is supposed to have pictures embedded in it but we can't get it to work (we are still learning weebsite stuff) so until we do you can refer to the links we have here for the receipts and quotes from relevant parties.

Vtuber and journalist Ana Valens weighing in on the ripple effects of the latest wave of censorship through payment processor pressure

It's been gnawing at us... This feeling we should quit, rebrand, or change course; to wilt, to hide, and we have wilted & have hidden out of fear and out of hopelessness. It's why we haven't been advertising ourselves like we should, or advocating for our selves like we should. In every facet of our life it feels like we're being told we are not welcome whether in public life as a trans person, life under fear of ICE as a minority, or just as a creator of taboo stuff trying to stand on collapsing ground. As a queer person... As a disabled person... As a black person... It's all just so much. Sometimes it feels like we're bordering on collapse.

Our own physical and mental health has not been where we'd like it, so it's felt like stacking albatrosses for a while now, and hearing people leave the scene or have to move away from adult content, furry stuff, vtubing or whatever breaks our heart. I empathize because we too have been weighing decisions such as those for some time as things have gotten more and more hostile with payment processors and targeted harassment; the risk assessment has been intensifying, which is why we're still very frustrated at the same circles being treaded, at power wearing us all down, at hoping we just roll over and accept the new internet; the new world or—lets be real—the same old world, just much much worse.

The way the world is turning, I feel like I'm ice skating uphill. We've known folks who've quit vtubing or slowed down on art; folks who can only fit art into the small crevices they're allowed, and that was even before AI was being used to manufacture soulless content and devalue the work of real people's labor and before gamergate had become the politics of world leaders.

When we started doing this in 2019, we had no idea how hard things would be. It felt like an art and identy renaissance. So many folks were finding themselves on the internet, getting into new hobbies and some even persued their dreams. Little did we all know we'd have to fight just to keep these new found shreds of personhood or avenues of expression. And being a creator, NSFW or not takes a lot of time and effort, even during a boon, like we saw during covid. back then still had tremendous diffculties, but I feel like every avenue of stablity has erroded since then.It will be even harder soon,but... Thinking of this moment in history feels reminicent of the burning and outlawing of 'degenerate' artwork and research about queer people that the nazis did, it's not hard to see parallels and think 'Is the art I cherish, both from myself and others, going to turn to ash in our hands and mouths as we create it?' There are artists we look up to who just barely get by or can't even feed themselves, or who've quit because of the social climate of things alone. This is an era of hopelessness. We used to worry if someone would be able to watch one of our streams in 100 years... Now, a stream surviving even 10 years would feel like an accomplishment.

That's why in this moment—with part of us screaming to move even an inch and not to go sweetly; to learn how to survive; to live in spite of this capitalist, fascist hellscape trying to swallow us; to make us comply; to 'appreciate our sex'; to burn us alive all at once—it's a nightmare, that we're writing this. To those who have to take up less space or take up space differently, do what's best for you. I hate that you have to limit yourself or stop following your passions to survive. My heart goes out to you; to those who, even begrudgingly, are attempting to continue living as you ought, even in the shadows. My heart is with you, and I hope we can all live to see the daylight after this nightmare. I do still believe this is not the end. We aren't free until we're all free.

This post is sort of a pressure valve release and an affirmation to ourselves that we don't wanna give up; that we wanna keep moving forward and that even though there is no reprive in sight, survival through solidarity is the revenge we need to foster. Please, look out out for eachother. seek help from friends, from collueges. Check in on folks in your network. make sure to follow creators to new sites as we navigate things; most folks lose some amount of subscribers (and income) when moving. We know we did moving from patreon to subscribe star...anyway try to get a good nights sleep. seems like we're all gonna need it.